Promises.

James 1:2-4 
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


Well shoot. Where do I even start? When I was driving home just a little bit ago, I had a whole slew of things to say; yet now that I have sat myself down in front of the computer, I can't figure out how to say it. 


Well, I didn't think the waterworks would start THIS soon in the post! I really don't like admitting weakness, and being vulnerable, because, well it's being vulnerable! 


"How are you?! How have you been?!" I love catching up with people, and I really do want to know how they've been, but it's been killing me when others ask me this over the past month. Because you know what, I've been horrible. But that doesn't exactly make great small talk now does it? And I don't really feel like pouring my heart out to an acquaintance, just to get an "oh, I'm sorry" and awkwardness.  I know as friends, they might actually care, but I'm not strong enough to be that real with them. I feel like this last month, especially these last 2 weeks, have been THE MOST difficult in my life. In some ways, I feel like Job (in the Bible). I really don't understand squat of why any of the stuff that has happened has, but all I can make of it is spiritual warfare. 


I'm not even sure if I can write any more right now. There's just too much mumbo jumbo going on in my head, too much confusion, and waaayyy too much pain. 
Until I can even finish this post, hopefully sometime soon, just know this. 
I'm not writing to get an "oh I'm sorry" or an "oh, you'll make it through!" kind of reaction.
Part of what I'm feeling has to do with a lot of in-explainable loss of important friendships in my life, so you simply just saying hey I love you, or talking to me about you or other things, means alot to me right now. 


Oh yeah, and some of my dear wonderful friends who I've talked about skyping over the last month, I do do do want to skype with you, but am not really in the right mindset to set up a time. So do it for me and tell me? sounds good.