Ug.
These last two weeks of school this semester have been and will continue to be super challenging for me.
I'm constantly reminded of the fact that I won't be here next semester, and what all exactly that entails. It's really hard for me to comprehend that these might be my last few days to spend with some of my friends that will be graduating this year. I have to remind myself to live each day purposefully and enjoy the time I have with them. I know that this opportunity of studying abroad is something I've wanted to do for awhile, it's just hard to embrace the goodbyes. I hate goodbyes, I really do. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me positive is thinking about the fact that I will be living in AFRICA! That is, after all, something I've wanted to do for 13 years now. It doesn't make the goodbyes any easier though!
I feel like I'm grasping on to each and every opportunity I have to spend time with friends before I leave. The end of this term snuck-up on me! I am understanding the idea of "living each day as if it were my last" in a new light. It's kind of funny, because I feel like my professors are taking on this same idea as well. I feel like they're giving us their "last rights", teaching us what they really want us to know even if it isn't what's on the syllabus. I kind of love it! I get to see what they really are passionate about, and it all boils down to them caring about us, the students. It makes me really appreciate and love Simpson even more, because the professors really care about us.
Needless to say, I could use some prayer. As I don't have all of the finances in yet, I can't say for certain where I will be in a month. Not that this is new for me or anything, it doesn't make it any easier. I'm not an emotional person, but this has been an emotional week. On Monday during our weekly CAB meeting (Campus Activities Board, aka my job), my boss Sarah gave me a farewell of sorts; it took nearly everything in me to hold back the tears. I know I've already said it, but it is SO hard for me to imagine not being surrounded by those people in less than 2 weeks! It's also hard to respond to the questions asking if I am excited to study abroad. Sure, of course I am! If I'm going to. But a neat little secret of mine is that I haven't allowed myself to mentally and emotionally commit to the fact that I might be in Africa in January; I think it's easier to make a quick transition to the fact that I'm there in comparison to planning on going and then not. It's hard for me to fully invest in any possible situation and outcome; that's not the easiest to do! I really hate that question, actually. It just reminds me again of the uncertainty that fills my life.
I trust God. I know that what happens is in His will and I will be ok. But I'm still human and imperfect and this is challenging for me.
These last two weeks of school this semester have been and will continue to be super challenging for me.
I'm constantly reminded of the fact that I won't be here next semester, and what all exactly that entails. It's really hard for me to comprehend that these might be my last few days to spend with some of my friends that will be graduating this year. I have to remind myself to live each day purposefully and enjoy the time I have with them. I know that this opportunity of studying abroad is something I've wanted to do for awhile, it's just hard to embrace the goodbyes. I hate goodbyes, I really do. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me positive is thinking about the fact that I will be living in AFRICA! That is, after all, something I've wanted to do for 13 years now. It doesn't make the goodbyes any easier though!
I feel like I'm grasping on to each and every opportunity I have to spend time with friends before I leave. The end of this term snuck-up on me! I am understanding the idea of "living each day as if it were my last" in a new light. It's kind of funny, because I feel like my professors are taking on this same idea as well. I feel like they're giving us their "last rights", teaching us what they really want us to know even if it isn't what's on the syllabus. I kind of love it! I get to see what they really are passionate about, and it all boils down to them caring about us, the students. It makes me really appreciate and love Simpson even more, because the professors really care about us.
Needless to say, I could use some prayer. As I don't have all of the finances in yet, I can't say for certain where I will be in a month. Not that this is new for me or anything, it doesn't make it any easier. I'm not an emotional person, but this has been an emotional week. On Monday during our weekly CAB meeting (Campus Activities Board, aka my job), my boss Sarah gave me a farewell of sorts; it took nearly everything in me to hold back the tears. I know I've already said it, but it is SO hard for me to imagine not being surrounded by those people in less than 2 weeks! It's also hard to respond to the questions asking if I am excited to study abroad. Sure, of course I am! If I'm going to. But a neat little secret of mine is that I haven't allowed myself to mentally and emotionally commit to the fact that I might be in Africa in January; I think it's easier to make a quick transition to the fact that I'm there in comparison to planning on going and then not. It's hard for me to fully invest in any possible situation and outcome; that's not the easiest to do! I really hate that question, actually. It just reminds me again of the uncertainty that fills my life.
I trust God. I know that what happens is in His will and I will be ok. But I'm still human and imperfect and this is challenging for me.
I am with you Jessica! Something interesting that I think God has been showing me is that when we are depending on Him and we have to wait and have uncertainty we are being set apart from the world. Most of the world needs things planned and certain and although our human nature tells us that we want it, God is saying let Him have it. When He is in control He always does something GOD sized. So as hard as it is to trust, pray for faith. Pray to see what He is doing and Pray for trust. This is something I think that most young adults struggle with and we grow a ton in this time. After all a life depending on God who promises He will take care of it and He IS good, is not a bad one. In fact it is a blessed one :)
ReplyDeleteThis is just what I needed to read, in more than one occasion!
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